But these human things did not register to me. Photographs did, and this journal, and other things that were not right. And at the time, that was okay. At the time that felt normal. But now it does not, now I cant understand that anything really happened.
If someone brings it up I just ask "what do you mean? what do you mean?" Because to me that was already five lives ago. Maybe I never feel like anyone these days because I give myself a thousand clean breaks, hundred fresh starts.
Good morning. I am watching Jewel music videos on youtube. Wouldn't it be funny if I was kidding? My roommate (pictured above) may or may not be wondering why I am doing this. So I will tell you and her, who may, or may not be reading this.
Sometimes this thing happens where a certain song will plague all of my dreams, every dream all through the night. This started fairly recently, but I have no idea what the hell is bringing this on.
It all started with the song "Nightshift" by the Commadores. You must remember this song "jackie...jackie...how are you doin now? it seems like yesterdayy that we we were workinnnn out. Gonna be some sweet soundssss, goin downnnn, on the night shift (night shift, night shift)." And this song played through a series of dreams, me driving in a car, me in a gas station, me going to the laundromat and I just kept saying "man this is so weird, I havent heard this song in so long."
When I awoke the next morning my mind was completely blown. Everything kind of changed after that. My nights started compiling completely random soundtracks: The Lion King, Alanis Morissette, the song "punk rock girl", Elton John, that "I wanna fuck, I wanna fuck the dead," song we listened to freshman year of high school, "November Rain" and as of last night, Jewel.
It's not these songs just play in one dream one time, it is that I have a series of long dreams, none of them related and these songs happen to be playing. They are also always songs I havent heard about or thought about for a long time.
If I had a choice I would set my dreams to Beyonce singing "if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it," because that song &ass shaking is just too good for away messages alone.
Anyway, I do have a quick question. What is the deal with the "November Rain" video? My best friend Ilana and I Have discussed this for years. We were both obsessed with watching it as children and trying to figure out what really goes down. How does the bride die? Why does it start to rain? What goes wrong, Axl Rose?
This subject even came up at brunch last week &several ladies in my age group agreed that when we were six years old this was the most beautiful and puzzling thing to watch.
My mom recorded it for me off of VH1, on vhs. I would sit on the carpet and consider 1)getting married 2)bleeding to death 3(if the other kids in the first grade would understand
This was the same year I got in trouble for telling everyone what sex was, for crossing to the boys side of the playground. When I was a kid I always insisted on changing my name. For two years I wanted to be called "Donna Pima" because I felt it was better than "Daniela Scrima." Wouldnt it be funny if this was a joke?
I am basically the same now.
TELL ME WHATS HAPPENING:
-pretty church
-orchestra
-long hair
-flower girl
-jesus bleeding from the eyes
-"oooooooo.....darlin when I hold you, don't you know I feel the same?"
-bride &sign that says "rainbow"
-everyone smokes cigarettes
-back to wedding where dude looks like guy from beauty &the beast
-"i'll just end up walking in the cold november rain"
-they kiss
-slash walks in lookin' real hot
-in desert in front of church
-leave wedding &have picture taken
-"everybody needs some time on their own"
-cutting the cake...everything is still normal
-IT STARTS RAINING AND THEN
-the wine bottle spills (bum bum bum bum bummmmm)
-now the bride is dead BUT HOW?!!??!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!???!?!
Now you should see me at weddings, now you should see me at funerals
A small message from Jewel, Guns N Roses &myself "you're not the only one!"
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