oh good-bye babylon

Tonight the train got stuck while we were underwater, the woman next
to me, she started screaming about how we were going to drown, "we
gonna drown like this, we gonna drown." Everyone does this thing on
the subway, pretending they are mute, blind, deaf, dead, no
acknowledgement. I nod my head in agreement, We gonna drown like this,
yes ma'am, we gonna drown. It's gonna flood right on in, the glass
will break and everybodys body is gonna float up to the glass, a mass
death on the L train, and no one even took it seriously. We gonna
drown like this, we gonna drown.
I should have listened to my horoscope this morning, should have read
it straight through and walked around with it, word for word.
Tomorrow, maybe, yeah tomorrow, with my stars and my signs, maybe I'll
try and bring the fortune myself these days.
Tomorrow; I'll bleach everything I own, I'll walk the five blocks to
the Korean laundromat, I'll throw it all in. I'll rescrub my hair,
examine my face, fall asleep standing.
There were all these things I meant to do the last time I was in
Florida and I feel like I did not do any of them. They were little
tasks, put my cds on my computer, print out some things, mail things
to myself. Activities that did not happen or occur, I do not know what
I did instead. We gonna drown like this, we gonna drown.
My fan broke. I don't know why. It did not provide great comfort
anyway, but it did provide some. And I am going to act like it will
all come out in the wash, that I just need some bleach, some fabric
softner, air conditioning- if I can make it sterile, it will turn out
well. Even though, that's all it ever was, for so long, it was just
very sterile. So you find things that are not. You go places where the
air is not freezing indoors, where the tile is not white &the walls,
they arent either. You get a fever and you give it away, you walk
around with the same taste in your mouth so you start spitting into
other peoples, "open up open up open wide," and you just go for it.
And I do not know the part in this story where we learn to save
ourselves again where we have to reborn for the millionth time, where
he comes along and tells it to me like it is- like it really is, how
bad it really hurts, what it's really like. And the train is full of
water, now everybody is looking and screaming
but God, we are just singing, I can see your face and I can just sing,
the water fills my mouth and everybody is floating but me and the
woman next to me- we hold hands, we rejoice. We saw it coming.

And I dont know why it never clicks, why the connection is not made,
why I stay awake and I just cannot shake it off. The window wont open
any more, the air isnt doing any good, I do not know who it is raining
for but I didnt ask for some kind of thunder storm. So I hope it goes
well, since I have no idea, since I aint got no clue baby, since it's
not how I make it out in my head and all the baby honey darling
sweetheart baby baby. And I wont say anything that I have said before,
because now everyone is screaming, banging their hands, making so much
eye contact- God they are all staring, they cant even stop, and I hope
they are all thinking- since they cant speak, since their lungs are
filled with water, I hope they are all thinking, Oh lord, we gonna
drown like this, we gonna drown.