acrobats

Well, I guess it is kind of like this: I am Dolores Price and I am telling Dante the truth while we sit in a McDonalds. I am telling him that I've known who he is forever, that this was all calculated, all planned out. I moved next door on purpose, I decided to love you long before you were a living, breathing thing.

I am Dolores Price saying all of this because who can even care this far in? After so much has happened you may as well tell the truth. Dante, it is kind of like you ruined my life because you did all of these visible things like ruin our marriage by fucking your student, but really, I've ruined yours too. I've known you all along. This has been my master plan.

Do you like your french fries, baby? Do you want a chocolate shake?. Because this far in all we want to say is "oh baby, look at you! look at you blowin' my mind."


What I really mean is, I shelled out thirty dollars for the new Wally Lamb book yesterday. It is one million pages long &I have no idea what it is actually about. I am not going to look it up or ask amazon.com or make any attempt to find out. I am just going to let it happen. Even with books now, it just has to happen. I don't like knowing things before it starts or before it ends or before it's over.

I hate the prelude, I cant stand the preface-- it's nothing personal, it's just not for me. I guess it hasnt always been like this . My favorite part of going to the movies is seeing the previews and I will read the sequels and pretend I am going to give them all a fair shot, but apparently at some point I started refusing introductions. Apparently at some point they started to make me sick.


Other treasures I purchased include: rollers for my hair and Virginia Slims Superlims Lights. I don't smoke (not from lack of trying) but after I heard Weekend Update make jokes about cigarettes being marketed toward teenage girls I figured they were for me too. If I can blow o's does that mean I can inhale? Does that mean I am a thirteen year old girl? What does ten years me? Is that regression or just an introduction?


It seems like everyone is skipping town for Thanksgiving. I am staying put. I've been thinking a lot about 2009 and what I feel like doing. I think I just feel like being myself, I think that is what I want to do even if I have forgotten how. I will not get a real job unless anyone will let me work in a beauty salon again, I will not 9-5 it and I won't beat myself up about not being a "real person" maybe starting right now I can think of myself as a real person. Human beings.

I will take up piano and learn to tap. I adore my course schedule so maybe I should just take it one step further and learn how to use my whole body when I play the harmonica.

If you can do a back flip, Dante, then I can do one too.